Traditions – Tasteful or Tacky?
We have all been to a wedding or two. We have seen friends, relatives, strangers engage in wedding stunts that can become embarrassing, yet are customary.
Written by Lauri Boyden for the Fall 2009 issue.
Sure, there are times when the stunned woman who catches the bouquet has been summoned to the dance floor by the droning dj to perform the whole garter stunt and ended up falling madly in love with the young man who caught the garter. In this particular instance, they remain happily married with two beautiful children. You just never know!
However, now that you are planning your own wedding it is for you to decide if those customary acts will be part of your celebration. Are there other customs or traditions you will use to signify your own union and celebration. Will these customs carry on in your family or have they already?
Some of the traditions listed below have been handed down through the years from culture to culture. Some are pure folklore and many stem from superstitions. Certain traditions are widely used in modern wedding ceremonies while others exist only within a certain race or culture.
While I hope you enjoy the following legends and lore, when planning your wedding I encourage you to do things your way. There are no rules, no ways that must be followed because Aunt Nellie says it must be. When it comes to your celebration – make it just that, your own. Add your own personalized flare that will make lasting traditions for your family for years to follow.
Customs and tradition should be binding, in a loving family way.
The wedding is one of life’s primeval and surprisingly unchanged rites of passage. There are so many different customs, superstitions and cultural beliefs that have carried on through the ages.The Engagement Ring: said to symbolize the promise of a future together; sealed with giving and accepting.
The diamond engagement ring has been around since the early 1400’s and first found in medieval Italy. In earlier times, the engagement or betrothal ring was a partial payment for the bride and a pledge of the groom’s intentions. Historically, men have chosen not to wear wedding rings; it was not until the sixteenth century that they became fashionable. During World War II, the idea of the double ring ceremony became popular as a link for the young couples before they were sent overseas.
Is it fortune or misfortune in the rings stone? Each stone signified with the month of the year is said to hold good or bad tidings for the bride. The bride who wears an engagement ring with her true birthstone is said to be the luckiest of all.
Choosing a wedding day: superstitions abound as you decide which date to set. Many cultures have beliefs pertaining to the full moon or various phases of the moon and harvest seasons. In England, the groom’s birthday is an especially lucky day to marry. April is said to be hallowed by the Roman goddess of love, Venus. Many of the superstitions surround fertility and the couple’s ability to raise a loving family. If snow falls in December, the couple is sure to have a happy marriage. A good choice then for us here in Vermont!
Bridal Showers: this event has roots dating back to Holland. When a father’s bride did not approve of the groom to be, he would not provide the necessary dowry. The bride’s friends would “shower” her with gifts so that she would have a dowry and still marry the man of her choice. Even with dowries long gone, the practice of giving gifts still remains. Showers often remain a surprise to the bride, who can surely expect good natured fun and games. As gifts are opened, folklore has it that for each broken ribbon or pot holder received; a baby will be welcomed to the new couple. Often times, the ribbons are collected as a bouquet to be used during the rehearsal or the ribbons are placed in the brides pillow case for continual good luck. Bridal showers have become a way to strengthen the friendships between the bride and her friends; giving moral support and helping to prepare for the marriage.